


Laughter's Assassin

by spazyjude



Category: Arctic Monkeys
Genre: Arctic Monkeys - Freeform, F/M, Record Shop AU, Record store au, References to Arctic Monkeys, Romance, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, alex turner (musician) - Freeform, alex turner - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:53:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28124931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spazyjude/pseuds/spazyjude
Summary: It’s the summer before your first semester at university and you’re spending it in the city to get used to everything. One day, while exploring the town you encounter an old record shop where you meet a charming young man named Alex.
Relationships: Alex Turner (Musician)/Original Female Character(s), Alex Turner (Musician)/Reader, alex turner (musician) / you
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. Cappuccinos

**Author's Note:**

> *PLEASE READ*  
> Hi everyone! This is my first fanfiction! It’s a female reader insert about Alex Turner. It’s mainly a romance fic, but I may or may not add in some more plot. There will probably be a bit of smut in later chapters, but I will put warnings at the beginnings of those chapters so you know what to expect. I will also be updating the tags as I go. I will try to update at least every other day, but I am always busy with school work. The only place I post my works are AO3 and Wattpad, both under the username ‘spazyjude’, so if you see my work anywhere else, please let me know. If you want to contact me for any reason, or just see me be insane, check out my Twitter @hxllcatspanglxd. I appreciate criticism, and I love your feedback, so please leave lots of comments or DM me on Twitter :)  
> xx Jude
> 
> PLEASE NOTE:  
> Alex is not going to be a rockstar or the lead singer of Arctic Monkeys in this fic. I find those fics boring and repetitive, so if you’re looking for that, please read a different fic. He will also be 19 in this fic, not 34, the reader will be 18. He’s probably not going to be from a specific era, but think of how he looked in 2010-2011. I might occasionally include photos. I will not be using “y/n” I find that annoying, and nothing takes me out of a fic quicker.

My fingers scraped the bottom of the bag.

“Shit,” I murmured. I couldn’t seem to find my to-do list anywhere. Serves me right for writing it on the back of an old takeout receipt instead of a fresh piece of paper or on my phone. The list had detailed all the shops I needed to visit to pick up things for my new apartment and first semester at university.

I sighed and wiped the back of my hand across my brow as I thought about what to do next. I decided to wing it, I’d never been the best at remembering lists, but there was really nothing else left to do. I swung my bag over my shoulder and walked out of my tiny one-room studio apartment. 

I nodded at the friendly older lady who always sat at the entrance of the building, and I was on my way. The pleasant burn of the sun quickly warmed me up after leaving the overly air-conditioned apartment building. It was a quick walk to my first stop: a coffee shop. I was in need of some energy after staying up the night before talking to my friend Amara who had decided to go somewhere else for university. I waited in line patiently, checking my phone for notifications until it was my turn to order. The girl at the cash register looked about my age. Maybe she goes to the same school!

“Hi! What can I get for you today?” she asked brightly, grinning.

“Ummmm, I’ve never been here, what do you recommend?” I inquired. At small coffeeshops like this, they usually had some sort of house specialty, and I would drink anything with caffeine at this point. 

“Ooooh you’re new,” the cashier giggled “I recommend the cappuccino, we just got a new machine,” she said. “Are you going to Laketon University?” she added.

“Yes!” I answered, “but how’d you know that?” I was confused

“There aren’t many new people that are your age around here, I go to Laketon too,” she explained, “So will you have the cappuccino?”

“Oh, yes, thank you,” I handed her my debit card. “Do you know where the nearest Office-Max or Staples is?” I asked. I needed some stationary if I wanted to stop writing agendas on the back of old receipts.

She started laughing “You think in a town without a Starbucks, there’d be an Office-Max?” She handed me the cappuccino, still chuckling to herself “We don’t have an Office-Max, but if you walk two blocks down, there’s a small arts and crafts store called the Jeweller’s Hands that should have what you need.”

“Thanks!” I smiled gratefully, heading towards the exit. As I exited the shop, I started walking in the direction she had pointed me in, trying to mentally organize what I would need to get. I needed at least three notebooks, a small planner, and a set of pens from the craft store, and then a new desk from a furniture store I would have to look for, and anything fun I found along the way. 

The Jeweller’s Hand logo was very interesting - two purple hands cupping a handful of diamonds that were spilling down the cracks. Unfortunately, next to that logo was a big “WE ARE CLOSED FOR THE DAY, COME BACK TOMORROW” sign. I groaned inwardly. I really didn’t want to come back later, I had planned on buying all my school supplies that day. I guessed I could do a little exploring since I had some time to kill now. I noticed a small shop tucked into the side of the craft store. I was curious, because I hadn’t noticed it at first, and the windows were too small to see what was inside. The only indication of what the shop could be selling was the green neon sign proclaiming “Tranquility Base Records” I shrugged, that could be interesting, I thought, let’s check it out. 

I made my way to the entrance and pushed the door open gently; the tinkling of a small bell and the smell of vintage books and paper met my senses. I glanced around and locked eyes with the young man behind the counter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY, THIS CHAPTER WAS SO SHORT, I PROMISE THE UPCOMING ONES WILL BE LONGER. Please leave comments, I love reading them :)


	2. Cigarettes and Cologne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex’s hair in this chapter looks like the linked image :) Let me know if all the lyric references are annoying!
> 
> https://lastfm.freetls.fastly.net/i/u/770x0/9e1af0921d1c43c49b0fc97f53940223.jpg

The first thing I noticed was his hair. Dark brown, and mostly slicked back, with pieces falling into his eyes. The next thing I noticed was the little smirk playing across his lips. I scowled. Why was he smirking? Could he tell I was new in town? I shook my head to clear my thoughts, I was overthinking it. I stepped fully into the building and let the door shut behind me. Shelves of records lined the walls, and tables stacked with even more filled the room. 

“Welcome to Tranquility Base Records, looking for anything specific?” he had a thick Yorkshire accent. His pronunciation of ‘anything’ which sounded more like ‘enneh-thin’ stood out to me the most.

“No, just exploring,” I said curtly.

“Alright,” he said, his accent making it sound like ‘alreyt’. He blinked slowly at me before going back to organizing something behind the counter.

I wasn’t really in the market for any new records, I already had all of my favorite albums, but nonetheless, it was always fun to look around. I gravitated to the small display holding all of The Strokes’ albums. I picked up the risque cover of ‘Is This It’ and smiled. This album was very nostalgic for me and always reminded me of being a reckless kid. 

“I always wanted to be one of The Strokes,” a male voice lamented from behind me. 

I jumped, startled. I hadn’t realized someone was so close. I whirled around to face the voice, only to find the guy from earlier standing less than a foot behind me. I swallowed and took a step backward until the back of my thighs were pressing against the table. He grabbed the record that I was still clutching in my hands and reached behind me to set it back down. As he leaned over me I caught the scent of cigarettes and cologne wafting off of him. I noticed that I was breathing deeper to get more of his surprisingly pleasant scent, and I mentally chastised myself. 

His ~~cute~~ _condescending_ smirk was back, I think he could tell that I was smelling him. My face burned red. 

“I’m Alex,” he said by way of introduction.

“Pleased to meet you, Alex,” I choked.

“No, the pleasure is all mine,” he grinned lasciviously.

He was only a few inches taller than me, but that didn’t stop him from being incredibly intimidating. I was suddenly very aware of the fact that we were the only two people in the entire store.

“You’re new in town,” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

“Is it that easy to tell?” I asked dryly.

“I’m just saying I think I would have remembered you if I’d met you before,” and because no one can be cool forever, he blushed and looked at the shelf behind me to avoid eye contact.

“Ah,” I said, fighting a blush myself. His looking away from me allowed me a moment to study his features. He was hot - very hot. He had a long straight nose, a defined jawline, and big dark eyes. His arms were limned with lean muscles, and his white t-shirt showed them off. 

“Well, I best be going, nice meeting you Alex,” I said. If I stayed in that tiny shop alone with him for one more moment, I would combust. Alex raised one arm in farewell, his lips curling up.

“Until next time,” 

“Bye!” I said quickly, scurrying for the exit.

As soon as I was out of the door, I sucked in a big breath and held it. His confident demeanor was very attractive, and those arms didn’t hurt. As I started to look for a furniture shop, I was left with one thought:

I want to play with his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or two :)


	3. Text Me Sometime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I took 6 days to update…. yikes. ANYWAY, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

I hadn’t been out of the shop for a whole two minutes when I heard the little bell ring as someone came out of the shop. It was Alex. I tried to compose myself quickly, I stood up straight, and smoothed my hair back.

He looked side to side, before noticing where I was standing with my hands behind my back to hide their shaking. He took two strides up to me and held up my phone in one hand. He had long elegant fingers, with a ring on his pinkie.

“This is yours, I reckon,”

“Sorry, what?” I had been too busy analyzing his hands to process what Alex had just said.

“I said, I reckon this is yours,” he waved the phone in front of my nose like I was daft.

I snatched it from his grasp. “Thanks,” I muttered. 

“You shouldn’t thank me,” he admitted, “I noticed you abandoned it on the table before you even left. I kept it for a moment to put my number in,” He rubbed the back of his neck in what was obviously a nervous gesture. “You really should put a password on your phone,” he added in a lame attempt at a joke.

I didn’t know what to say. I stood there stupidly, staring at him while a million thoughts raced through my head. He’s so hot. He likes The Strokes. He likes  _ me.  _ His accent is attractive HE LIKES _ ME _ . 

“So… text me sometime maybe,” Alex was confused by my seemingly less-than-enthusiastic response. He ran a hand through his hair and turned on his heel, back into Tranquility Base Records.

~~~

“Damn. Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” a constant stream of expletives leaked from my lips as I processed our interaction. Couldn’t I have been normal? For once in my life? But no, I had to stand there like a mute, while one of the most attractive people I’d ever met (who  _ liked _ me!) tried to have a conversation with me. He probably hates me now

I was walking home from the furniture store where I had ordered a small wooden desk to be delivered next week, obviously still contemplating the on fire garbage can that my interaction with Alex had been. 

I shook my head to clear the negative thoughts swimming around. Would I text him? I hadn’t decided yet. I would call my friend Amara later and ask her, she always had the best advice regarding romantic entanglements and such.

It was only about 2 pm, but I was already exhausted from all this walking around that I wasn’t used to. I wished I could afford a car and gas. 

I quickly reached my apartment building, the old lady was still there so I smiled and waved at her before marching up the stairs. I collapsed face down onto my bed, the mattress emitting a small squeak, the too-cold apartment felt nice for now, and I didn’t have the energy to do anything else at the moment.

I should call Amara now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Eve!!!


End file.
